The Unknown Path and a Perfect Garden

Sunday, Feb 21, 2010

Finally kind of back up to date. Sorry about the multiple day posts. I hate being behind, but many times, I don't think there is a whole lot to say.

Today was interesting. I woke up in a really foul mood. I tried not to show it, but I was feeling the lonely and depressed and jobless type feel. It didn't help that Alison was going to work from 12-9. Well, we got dressed and got ready to go to Church. It was a new Church that didn't have a building of their own. They are currently meeting in the Town Hall. It was a contemporary church and quite small. Don't know the denomination. As we walked in, they gave us visiter cards with free chocolate! As soon as we sat down, two people came and talked with us. Eventually they left and the church started. It started at 10, but the pastor spoke for an hour, so at 11:50, Alison had to leave to get to work on time. I went with her, since the service was almost done anyway. We were just singing the ending song.

We had planned to get a crepe, but it was too late, so she went to work. I got a crepe though. Cinnamon. Quite tastey. Anyway, I went back to the room and changed and made a salad. Then I went to the library to check out a couple books, but only one of several I wanted was available. Then I walked to the Botanical Gardens.

I have realized the Botanical Gardens are my safe place. A place I can come to at any time and be at peace. Feel closer to God. Be in his creation and just listen to the nature. I love sitting down and seeing the magnificent flowers, hear the wind, hear the millions of insects that sound like high and low clicking sounds...almost as if you were in the desert. It gives me time to stop and think about things. What am I missing? What should I be doing?

I have been here a lot recently, and today I kind of just stopped and paid attention to the people. I decided to look around and not be focused on what I need to do, and where I need to go, but pay attention to my surroundings. There were hundreds of people around. I wanted to look at people and say hi.

Then I discovered something. I found that less than a quarter of the people I would look at even bothered to glance my way. Of those people who looked at me, less than a quarter of them bothered to smile or say hi back. Most just ignored me and looked away quickly. So many people here are just like the people in the United States. Granted, many of these people are just visiting New Zealand, but it still made me feel insignificant. Unimportant enough to acknowledge. People are just occupied. Businesslike. Unavailable.

It got me to thinking about me. I have been that way too, especially more recently. So occupied and self absorbed with this whole job thing. Just get from point A to point B and don't pay attention, because I have things to do, places to go...I don't notice people and they don't notice me. It is sad that people feel that others are a bother, not worth their time. They shouldn't be bothered. I now some people are so focused and can't hear, but that is a problem too. We need people and relationships. We can't build relationships this way. If we want to follow and be closer to God, we need to build relationships with people. I am going to stive to do this. I want to continue to smile and say hi to people. Recieving this "friendliness" has always put me in a better mood, so I need to allow others to have this opportunity by doing it myself.

I wanted to go to the central rose garden, the hydrangea garden and the area that has my favorite flowers, but there was some kind of concert going on, so I decided to find this other rose garden that I haven't seen. So I started heading in the direction of this garden and found a path I hadn't taken before. So I decided to take it. As I started on the path, I saw a very hidden path that almost didn't look like a path. I started to pass it thinking I would try it another time, but it seemed mysterious, and it intruigued me. I just had a desire to take it and see where it would lead me. So I turned around and started on this path that had bushes and other things growing over it to hide it. I had to push leaves and brush back to get through it and it was challenging at times, but it somehow just made me smile at the kind of challenge it brought me. It led me to a parkish area that was open. So I really didn't know which direction to go.

I turned slightly and headed in one direction where there was no path in sight. There were no paths anywhere here. I decided to go to the rose garden and just headed in the general direction I thought it would be in. As I continued to walk, something caught my eye. Some kind of bush. I decided to explore it, so I decided to take a side trip and then go back on my way. As I approached the bush, it became hydrangeas. Then those became other flowers. Then I realized there were roses and it became an entire garden. This was the rose garden I had been looking for, but if I hadn't taken that path, I probably would have overlooked it.

This rose garden was not as beautiful or picturesque as the central rose garden, but it was beautiful in its own way. Definately less visited. Overlooked. Perfect. It seemed to have more character in the variety of flowers and plants. I wanted to sit down in the garden, but there was no bench in the shade. So I headed out of the garden, looking for a place by the river. As I got further away, I looked back, and saw that at the edge of the garden, was a bench that was mostly covered in shade. How perfect was that? So I sat down and wrote and wrote. Played Sudoku, and read. It was crazy how much this journey and event spoke to me. Could this message be any more blanant?