Depression Sets in

Tuesday 2-2-10

Happy Groundhog’s Day! I hope I don’t relive this day over, and over, and over (for those of you who have seen the movie). So I am feeling really depressed today. I tried sleeping in today, but everyone gets up at odd or different times (there are 6 of us in the room). I can’t sleep when people are up and making noise, so even though I was in bed until 9:45, I have been awake since 7:00. I hate being a light sleeper.

So I got up and read my Bible, and got ready for the day. I am awaiting Alison’s phone call to meet in the room, but we had to eat separately. Alison was at her interview and was there for a long time, so I just ate without her.

I, on the other hand, went to the bus exchange, stared at the map for about 20 minutes to find the different buses I need. I picked up like 30 timetable pamphlets as well as other things to try and figure out exactly what I need to do to travel around. All it has done if thoroughly confuse me and made me sad and lonely.

I am exceptionally happy for Alison and that work has come easy for her and she will even get paid for today. I just feel like a failure. I know I need to be patient. I know I need to figure this out. I know I can even give up and go home to what I know.

I feel like nothing is going right for me. It’s just so frustrating. I just with I would get a job downtown and walk there everyday. Everything would be so much easier. I do feel like giving up and going home now, but them my pride gets in the way of people thinking I can’t do it.

Plus, I really do think God got me here for a reason. Although I have to admit, I don’t feel that way at the moment. I am just discouraged and depressed, and I can’t even talk to anyone about it. I keep reminding myself of the people who are praying for me. They have been so encouraging.

Even the weather seems to be reflecting my mood. Overcast and drizzling. My heart is just aching, I’m not happy, I’m not hungry. I’m just having a pity party for myself.

I decided to go for a walk around the city. I bought postcards for people, but then I went back to the dorm. There were guys painting or staining or doing something on the roof. It smelled awful. They were being really noisy and obnoxious. One of them yelled to another “Pull my finger” then let one rip really loud. The other guy said, “Man that stinks!” Then the first guy said, “You can’t tell until you pull your mask off!”

So then I went to the lounge; then I went to the Botanical Gardens. I was just really not sure what to do with myself. At 5:15, Alison called, so I headed back to the room. Alison wasn’t there when I got there, so I waited. As soon as she walked in, she gave me a big hug. She had a horrible day. 8 hours without break or lunch and it just seemed crazy and disorganized. Not what she has been used to. She was told she would sit and talk to the manager. It seemed like it would be an easy day, but that never happened. Basically, she was thrown in and expected to be a server without any training. It was very hard. It kind of made me feel guilty for being so mopey.

So we got Souvlakis (our really special treat restaurant) and went to the library. I emailed tons of preschools and one primary school my CV in the area. Then we came back and did laundry. It was VERY full. We needed a token to wash ($2.50 per token). It looked like a teddy bear. So we washed, then came back and dried. The laundry facilities closed at 9:00, so we went there and waited, so that our laundry would not get locked in there. When the drier was done, our clothes were not all dry. So we had to lay them out everywhere across the room to dry.

Tomorrow, we encounter yet another move to a low budget hotel, a couple buildings down the road.